10:27 PM, Saturday, November 22, 2008
what are we up to?
i have a month of freedom left. yet i can't use it properly. i don't even know my purpose anymore. certainly not sleeping at 4 and waking up at 4? i really dont know what i should do.. i wanna do something, yet i fear being incompetent. i have this parochial view of life and i really really want to just get out of this pit. sometimes i wonder how can someone even be so cheerful in this bitter world. where's the love, the ties that hold our species so tightly together. the more i think about it, the more i question the very reality i experience. perhaps it is all but an illusion? what then is real? i have so many comments, so many things i want to make known to the world but everytime i'm close to doing that, the world just douses the fire with a new splash of cold water. its just so frustrating. to make things worse, as long as your views are not as one with the rest of society, you are shunned and condemned, and your views repackaged and exported to some unknown society. everyone out there just seems to be living in their own world, everyone wants to be special and they will do anything to be that. they steal, they kill and they destroy. whatever happened to love? the very quality that made our species unique. we have compromised so much, believing the lies of the selfish deceivers who only want power. what is the point of society when we are just strangers to everyone else. why is there no one willing to just hang out for the sake of hanging out; why must they always make sure they are constructive? why can't i just stare at the computer for half the day; why must i do something "productive"? would you rather me play soccer with myself? we blame the internet for destroying the meaning of society. truth is, we just want to shift the blame. no one wants to admit that the very education system is flawed. that the very foundations of lifestyle is corrupted. that the very basis of a money is as misguided as the financial system built for it. what have we accomplished? i simply do not see how the benefits outweigh the costs when my small city state sacrifices the significance of humanity for the sake of material returns. so many drown theirselves in work, at the expense of their family. so many children do not know their parents enough. what are we working for? to give our families better lives? i beg to differ. perhaps time should stop and the world should reflect on the meaning of existance. how i wish i lived in ancient Greece where i could be a philosopher, just discussing and debating, even questioning the very reality surrounding me. or maybe live in ancient China, where families were just so close. even prosperity could not break the heavily infused family values. just look at the world today. how many marriages and divorces are solely based on money? how many old folks are being thrown into homes, left to die alone in regret? how many children cannot even remember how their parents looked like because they leave for work before they wake up and come home after they fall asleep? what is the purpose of such lives now? to come into this world empty handed and leave empty handed? how so is that fruitful? no wonder so many in the forbes tops are great philantrophists. they simply cannot live with the guilt of living a life without purpose, without any sense of accomplishment. thats why i've come to dispise the rich. how many have actually made it to the top without pulling strings, stealing credits and bribing? how many have not played dirty in that oh so familiar family power struggle? how many have silenced their relatives to gain more power and affluence? just some food for thought.
quote Linderman "the world is hurt and needs healing"..........
my ranting will stop here. sorry for the wall of text.
